Cry of the Soul: 3 Days
by Erin A. Lasgalen
Summary: What does a father desire most? What does the son want to know? Truth is, it wasn't Toshiro who needed comfort, it was Gin himself. Three different days, three different hugs.
1. Day 1

**Cry of the Soul**

 **Day 1**

"Chi~bi Taicho!"

Said boy groaned and groggily raised his head from his desk. Right…he was so tired that he was fully prepared to actually sleep on the desk, his pillow being the unfinished paperwork soiled with ink. And his head was still pounding from the humongous headache he had provided himself. Just great!  
Wiping his cheek with the back of his hand, he fixed his teal eyes in a cold glare on the intruder. Gin's grin widened even more at the sight and he gave a slight chuckle, leaning causally on the door frame.

"What are you doing here, Ichimaru?" asked Toshiro, without even giving a small rebuke at being called THAT nickname again. He was just too tired for the silliness. He did not want to deal with it this late at night. "Go away..."

"Nah." The silver haired captain ignored him and entered the room, coming to stand directly beside the little boy. "Ya know, ya work more than the Kuchiki brat."

 _Is he going to scold me? Really?_

This was not fair. It was as if the odds were against him. He did this a lot, he knew. Yet that one time where he was actually tired and nearly fell asleep on his job, he was not only caught but it was Ichimaru Gin of all the people! And now the remaining few papers where blotched in ink. What a mess. And he was getting a rebuke, like a child! And from _him_ of all people! He rubbed his temple in an attempt to soothe the pain that was slowly becoming a hindrance. Just like the man in front of him. Trying to keep his cool, he fixed his best icy glare at the man.

"What of it? And should you be calling Kuchiki Byakuya brat? Aren't you the same age as him?" This made him pause for a second. He definitely did _not_ know that. It was just a hunch. Then again, aging was different in Soul Society. Gin could be older, especially if he died and came to Soul Society. Byakuya on the other hand, was _born_.  
Did Gin _die_ though? He didn't know that. Maybe Matsumoto knew? After all, they were classmates.

 _I really don't know anything about the man._

His eyes widened a bit at the thought. Because not even knowing why, he always wanted to know more about Gin. Maybe it was because he was labeled a genius, like himself? Or maybe it was because they were so much alike? Maybe it was for Matsumoto's sake.

Yes, that was definitely it. Furring his brows, he looked away.

"What is of is that Ran chan's worried about ya, ya know. Ya should stop acting like a bratling."

His eyes snapped back up to his face, irritated. "I am NOT-…!"

"Ya sure acting like one. Ya say you're a grown up now, but ya don't know yar own limits."

"I don't need you telling me off, Ichimaru!" He didn't realize he was standing up or that his fists where balled, or that he was leaking reiatsu and freezing the office. "I don't need ANYONE...telling me off." His breath hitched for a moment but he recovered quickly enough to shoot another soul chilling glare at the man, willing him to go away and stop bothering him. His eyes darted to the ground as he mumbled "I don't need anyone."  
Toshiro missed Gin flinching at his words. When he looked up, the man had a very peculiar expression on his face. He wasn't smiling. No, that was not a smile, it was a grimace.

 _What in the world?_

Even with closed eyes, Toshiro could feel the gaze of Ichimaru Gin. He looked away, finding a loose knot in his left sandal much more interesting.

 _Funny how I didn't even notice it._

Was he immersed _that_ deep in his own thoughts the whole day? This really was getting out of hand.

It wasn't really the work around the division, no. It was more what was happening outside of it.

He had never given up, of course, on his former Taicho. Isshin-san was something akin to an uncle, a caring somebody who didn't cringe at his very presence. That was the man who accepted him, WANTED him. And then, just like that, he was gone without a word, leaving everything, the division, the work, him and Rangiku alone.  
True, they said he was missing in action, that he died. Matsumoto surely believed it, and she didn't. His taicho was strong, he couldn't be dead.  
This was why he had secretly and as stealthily as possible, started his little research to find the truth. And look where the truth led him. To sleepless nights and headaches and frustration. He was becoming sloppy.

But who could blame him. The little information he could find out didn't help much, other than the fact that he knew of things Soul Society tried to cover up. Like Hollowfication and the trial of Urahara Kisuke, the disappearance of more than half of the Gotei 13 leaders nearly a hundred years ago.  
And what he found had so many holes in it that it was an enormous headache itself. The fact that he thought the final mission Isshin-san took was directly related to all that made it worse.  
Ugh. His head hurt so much now.

And there was Ichimaru himself. Why was he acting so strange as of late, being all sneaky and vauge, pulling off his reiatsu in weird patterns in front of other souls, just to make them scared of him, disgusted, terrified. Like snakes twisting around, choking, choking...Why the act! Hitsugaya knew it was an act, he could see through it. He was even putting up a show for Matsumoto. Show so good that she was falling for it. This puzzled Toshiro. It was all so weird that a little voice in his head sometimes thought that it was all leading to something big, like this was all a big dinner and the main dish was soon to be served. Ichimaru Gin wanted to be seen dangerous, like...

Like a suspect.

His eyebrow twitched as he groaned again. His hand went up instinctively to do something with the stupid pain. He, the youngest captain in Soul Society history ever was losing to a simple idiotic headache.

Before he could as much as scratch, he felt two arms engulfing him, pulling him in a warm embrace.  
"Wha-" The words died in his throat as he realized what was going on.  
"What are you doing, Ichimaru", he squeaked out in a small voice, so unlike his own. Ichimaru was hugging him close. He could hear his heartbeat. His hands instinctively pressed against the chest. It was so…warm.  
"Ya look like ya need a hug, Chibi-Taicho". Was it him, or Ichimaru's voice was different too? "Come now, ya need to loosen up a bit and stop trying to act like an adult for once. I don't want Ran coming to me with tears in her eyes because yar acting like an idiot." Foxface and his excuses. His brow furred. Why did he think the Matumoto reference was an excuse? He knew for a fact she was worried about him. Albeit, she did show it weirdly.  
Toshiro had a fleeting thought to kick the man, but he didn't have the strength or true desire to so. It was too warm, too comfortable. When was the last time someone hugged him? Someone who wasn't repulsed bu him? By his eyes, his hair, his cold personality, his very aura...  
He gripped the fabric of Gin's haori. Only Gran ever hugged him like that. Matsumoto's hugs where different, he felt squished in them, suffocating in the literal and metaphorical sense. That was why he ran from her hugs. Yet, Gin's hug was different. It was like Gran's. No. It was different, so familiar for some reason.

What in the world! How different? Why familiar? He couldn't quite place it. He couldn't even focus nor did he have any desire to think too much right now. Gin was right, maybe just this once he could loosen up? Maybe...

That was when he felt himself being lifted.  
"This is so demeaning," he whispered into the cloth he was holding, eyes screwed shut but not letting go. Why, why didn't he let go? Why couldn't he? Why didn't he _want_ to let go in the first place?

Gin had picked him up like a little child.

He should be angry, he should rage, freeze the man to the chair and be done with him, his weird schemes and smile.  
He didn't do anything.  
His eyes widened slightly as he felt a hand go through his hair, soothingly, gently, trying to calm him down and take away the pain. This was familiar. Something triggered in the very back of his mind, carrying him to the days he spent with his Gran in Rukongai.

Something in Gin's grip made Toshiro pause.  
 _Is Gin afraid if he let me go, I'd disappear?  
..No, I must be too lightheaded right now to think something as ridiculous as that. Curse the headache._

"Come on, Shiro-chan, sleep."

He nodded absentmindedly and with a a contended sigh and let himself relax into the arms of Ichimaru Gin. One would say it was crazy, considering what facade the man put.  
Facade. Snakes, evilness, cruelty...a facade. Right now, it was too much. Too much secrets, too much unknown. Hollowfications, Gin's game, Kuchiki's sister's prolonged stay in the real world.. It could all wait. For once, he just wanted to be and _feel_ like a child that he knew he was, deep down.

"It's like nothing can hurt me when you're near, Ichimaru", he mumbled. "So warm..and safe.."

Ichimaru Gin tightened his grip around the small boy and sighed. The boy was going to figure out some things. And he knew he just made things ten times worse. Coming for Ran's sake? Who was he fooling? Tch. He knew that coming to see the small Taicho was not reassurance on behalf of Ragiku. He had been spewing webs of lies so much around himself that he could at least keep his dignity to himself and admit the truth.

 _Warm and Safe_

Those words made his heart ache even more.

"I won't let him have ya, Toshiro, I swear, even if I die, Aizen will never get his hands on ya!"

The night came to pass, just like any other night in Seireitei. No one was there to witness the small Taicho tucked under the chin of one Ichimaru Gin in a tight embrace, both sleeping peacefully for the first time in maybe years. So alike and yet, different. Nor was there anyone to notice the silver haired man carefully putting the child on the couch close to the morning, wrapping him in a blanket or even finishing the paperwork. There was not even a breathe of his reiatsu left by the time Hitsugaya Toshiro woke up.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach. nor do i want to.

Comments: This is going to be a threeshot. A trial story lets say. Cos i want to write a few bit longer stories featuring gin and toshi father son relationship. Hope whoever reads, likes this. ;)


	2. Day 2 Prelude

**Day 2: Prelude  
**

It was night in Karakura town, one might say a normal one with a crescent moon and a few stars sparkling here and there. Many where in deep slumber, seeing their third or fourth dreams. Some were awake and alert, waiting patiently for another strike from the arrancar and the espada despite the fact that they left already, leaving injuries and broken pride behind.  
Hitsugaya Toshiro folded his arms over his roughly bandaged chest, watching patiently as Inoue Orihime healed his comrades with her special skill. A part of his mind idly wondered about it, after all it was exceptional and unique. Pretty powerful too, if the true potential was unlocked. Everyone else gathered there was discussing the course of events and the steps to take. Just what difference did it make? They were weak. _He_ was weak. He was forced to go bankai with the limit unsealed against a fraccion, a lowly arrancar. And the espada were stronger, much, much stronger. Arguments followed, complete with petty silliness. Usually it would have been welcome, but at the moment...

Toshiro exhaled through his nostrils and turned around. He needed some time alone. He needed to _think._

"Taicho, where are you going?", demanded Matsumoto.

He blinked and turned his head around. The sight of his fukutaicho made him gulp guiltily for some reason. She just looked so vulnerable, standing there with her hand holding to her arm tightly, and her eyes.. Why was she looking at him like that every single time he left without telling her? It was like she wasn't even seeing him. Tch. Maybe it was a bad habit, but he was used to it, he _always_ walked alone, liked doing things alone. And Gran never asked for a reason, she just watched him go. With Matsumoto it was harder. The guilt intensified. He stifled it down.

"I..", he paused then closed his eyes in a smile, unknowingly imitating that one person Rangiku cursed in her mind a lot. "I have something I need to do, Matsumoto". Shifting his head back, he looked up at the sky. "Contact the 12th Division Research Bearau. They can analyze the data fast. Also, keep in touch with Urahara Kisuke as well. He probably knows a lot more than us."

"But where are you going to go! You aren't even healed Taicho! At least let Orihime-chan heal you then go!"  
Toshiro knew she'd put up a fight. Of course she would. This was Matsumoto Rangiku, the mother cat. Well, truth be told, he did refuse healing, arguing that the others needed Orihime's skills more than him, after all it was just a scratch. So he had taken bandages and did the work himself, not letting even Matsumoto touch him or see said _scratch,_ one that ached pretty badly.

"Matsumoto! I am fine. Just follow your orders." _Please. You know I don't like pulling rank on you..._

She always had a way of making him feel incredibly guilty, for reasons he himself didn't understand. _Ugh._

"Understood."

With a nod, he disappeared in a quick shunpo, leaving freezing wind in his stake.

Dropping on an empty street somewhere near the end of Karakura town, the white haired captain paused and exhaled loudly. The wound was throbbing and his sloppy wrapping of bandages was already leaking red. Maybe it was not such a good idea to refuse healing altogether. Then again, the rest needed it more. Matsumoto herself needed it more and he'd be damned before he let himself heal up first. His lieutenant's health was much more important.

With a grunt, he circled his right arm around the wound tightly. Why did he have a feeling that everything was going downhill? All because of the selfish demonic desires of one man.  
No, he shouldn't call him a man. He's a monster.

 _Aizen..._

After the betrayal of the three captains, everything fell into place, well, at least some things did, like the blotched documents on the Hollowfications and Urahara's exile. It all became clear, who was behind it. Toshiro suspected some other things as well, like the death of Shiba Kaien, and the strange, much stronger hollow appearances. He still didn't know when the idea began to take root in the mind of Aizen Sosuke, but he knew for a fact that he was already evil during the time he was the vice of Hirako Shinji.

The thought of wanting to know those captains and vice captains who disappeared that night struck him as odd. He especially wanted to meet Hirako Shinji, the real person. All he knew of the man came from all the old reports he could dig out unnoticed.  
He was alive, they were all alive. And probably hating Soul Society more than anything.

A stray drop of blood dripped on the concrete, painting it red. Toshiro looked at it for a few minutes, thoughts a jungled mess, swirling around and around but always coming back to focus on one person.

Why, he still did not understand.  
He hated Aizen with a passion, mostly for hurting Hinamori. He could care less about Tousen, he never liked the man. But Ichimaru was a whole different story.

That night not even a month ago when he came to scold him, he was different. Like the part of Ichimaru Gin, the dangerous fox was left behind and it was just Gin there. And the hug, it was so comforting, so warm.

So strange.

It was, of course, the other day, when Toshiro thought things over rationally and with a coherent mind, he came to a conclusion that the hug was for _Gin,_ not him. Gin needed it just as much as he did, probably more. There was some sort of reassurance, as if telling either him or Gin himself that everything was going to be alright.

Still it didn't explain why the embrace was so familiar to him. It didn't explain all the other little things that he took note of, like the definite Matsumoto excuse, for example.

Toshiro wanted to talk to the man about it, but the latter avoided him like a plaque after that incident. Whenever they met by chance, Gin disappeared before he could even breathe out his name. At first, Toshiro tended to think that Gin was afraid and he was simply dodging the topic. Then, the fateful day when Aizen's pseudo corpse was found, he made it clear with just one single expression. Toshiro could read it clearly.

 _Yar a nuisance, get lost._

That stung. Nevertheless, he had more things to focus on. His own feelings on the matter didn't matter. What mattered was Hinamori and her mental state. Aizen was everything to her, and she found him dead. Gin was there, emitting the shifter reiatsu, making himself seem suspicious. Of course Momo would react like she did. The man did everything possible to be seen as a suspect and dangerous person in her eyes. And Ichimaru ignored him altogether. _Nuisance, a child, weak, get lost…_ Maybe that was the reason he so foolishly told Gin that if he hurt Momo, he's personally kill him. He didn't mean it. Of course he didn't. He couldn't kill Ichimaru, even if his life depended on it. Not because of skill, though he knew for a fact that Gin was much, much stronger, but because his hand would never go for a killing blow. Never. He didn't know why he felt that way and it was infuriating. Because he was Matsumoto's classmate? Probably. Right?

 _Grr, now I'm like him, using Rangiku as an excuse. Tch._

Of course it was like a punch in the face when Gin actually tried to kill Momo. Toshiro had no idea those were Aizen's orders, of course and he really, really didn't want to raise his blade against the man. But he would never have Momo hurt.

What was strange about the fight though, was that Toshiro _enjoyed_ it. It was a serious fight, yes, but it felt more like a spar than anything else. One thing he was sure of even then. Gin wasn't trying to hurt him. He struck knowing Toshiro would dodge. He was enjoying himself too.  
Hell he even knew that Matsumoto was going to jump in the very last second. It was all in his expression. No one could read those closed eyes and the creepy smile. Gin was very good at masking his emotions, not even Kuchiki Byakuya could read him. But Hitsugaya was very good at _reading_ people, better than the Kuchiki head. Even if most of the times he couldn't understand anything from the perfect pokerface and foxy smirk, there were a few precious moment he could count on one hand when he could tell a little bit. That itself was a feat and he tended to mentally pat himself on the head when it happened. For example he could always see faint traces of worry and regret when the man gazed at Rangiku. Sometimes, it was a little spark of happiness, a strange glint in his ever closed eyes. At that time Gin must have had something on his mind back then, because Toshiro could tell that he knew Ran was going to jump in front of Momo the very last second. Besides, Shinso was very slow, deliberately. Hitsugaya knew that the zanpakuto was extremely fast, probably faster than the speed of sound. Gin made it go slow for a reason.

It was all an act.

His chest ached more. He had the strongest desire to scratch himself. Great, now an infection probably started settling in.

 _I don't need anything else to rot inside me. I've got too much crap already.  
_  
He smirked almost feeling the mental swat Hyourinmaru gave him. His zanpakuto wasn't very font of bad language. Not that Toshiro used it much, but still. The smirk vanished when he swayed on his feet, vision going blurry for a few seconds.  
He sought out the nearest wall and leaned heavily on it, mind wondering to the time Aizen cut him in two. Aizen and his freakish zanpakuto. And he fell for it, like a little child. And Gin, Gin had watched the entire exchange. If it hadn't been for Unohana, he'd have died. Him and Hinamori both.

And Gin had watched.

Toshiro could swear for a second that he saw the man's eyes, wide, pale fearful eyes. Teal. Lighter than his own.

"Who am I fooling anyway. He's gone, he's a traitor, he hurt Momo", he whispered to himself. "I was nearly unconscious by then. I was probably seeing things. Yup, didn't Isshin-san taicho always say that before people die, they see some images, flashes of what had happened before, or what will happen in the future." He paused furring his brows. "Although he went onto a lecture about time traveling and ridiculous superhero stuff and vampire stuff after that. Stupid taicho and his obsession with the real world. Tch"

Remembering his former captain caused an old ache to resurface. This was exactly what he needed. Another painful reminder.  
He sunk to his knees, head in hands and breathed.

Thinking rationally was a bit hard when so many emotions whirled around. Gin was an enigma, and somehow important. He felt like the man would play a very big role in the upcoming war. Yet _feeling_ was so childish. He had no facts, no anything. For all he knew it all could have been a double act, everything! And the hug that one day was to set him in his current, helpless, moping and bleeding self.

 _Wait..._

Slowly he lowered his hands and pulled them close to his face, observing and not seeing.

 _Let's go through this once and for all._

"One: shinigami hollowfication started early hundred years ago, somewhat during that time Urahara Kisuke created the Hougyoku. Let's assume that at first simple hollows were modified. Aizen was the vice of the 5th Division then. Gin had just joined after graduating the academy in one year. So either Gin wanted to go there, or Aizen saw something in Gin and _stole_ him before anyone else could get his hands on him. Sort of like Aizen did with Hinamori, Abarai and Izuru." Toshiro folded the pinky on his left hand.  
"Two: Around that time four captains, three vice captains, and the vice of the Kidou Corps were hollowfied. According to the reports, it was Urahara Kisuke who did it, in league with the Kidou Corps captain. Fact, it was Aizen's work and Urahara most probably saved their lives. Ok, then they all disappear, along with Yoruichi-san. Gin was probably there..." With a sigh, he closed the ring finger.  
"Three: Gin becomes Aizen's vice captain. It's safe to assume that Tousen was with them since then." He paused. "No, according to Ukitake, Gin was a kid then, and Tousen was the same, so most probably Gin joined their little gang last." He folded the middle finger in distaste.  
"Four: Komamura Taichou said that Tousen's friend had died and that he became a shinigami for them. But I always had a very bad feeling when I was around him. And Komamura once _did_ tell me that Tousen only ever talked of the world his friend wanted to protect. He never said a word about what he himself wanted." Toshiro frowned, thinking hard. "If..ugh, maybe I am wrong but, what if Tousen is like Tennouji-san?"  
He frowned more, forefinger hand folded, remembering that one incident long ago. He had gone with Isshin, Matsumoto and a few others to investigate hollow activity in a small town a few miles from Karakura. A spirit had gone mad because the love of his live was murdered. The spirits that did it were an enormous organization of ruthless killers. They haunted any dead female they could find and tortured them before killing in gruesome ways. And Tennouji went mad. Many spirits become hollows extremely fast if they go mad. Yet this one was also smart. He integrated himself into the gang, becoming one of them, making them believe that he was a comrade, even proving it with heartlessly beating up other female souls. Then when the time was right he murdered them all in cold rage, creating a bloodbath. That was when the squad got there. It was also the first time Toshiro saw the Gates of Hell open up for a person who committed crimes _after_ his death.

Nodding to himself, Toshiro folded the finger. "There is chance of it being true. So, if Tousen is like Tennouji-san, it means that his friend didnt _die,_ rather was murdered probably by a shinigami." The thought itself made him cringe." It would be understandable then why Tousen joined us."

He held up his thumb. " Five: Gin. I still don't get why he followed Aizen in the first place. Ugh..." This really wasn't a finger fact, as he liked to call then, but he still folded the finger. Clenching his fist, he went to the other hand, took a deep breath and continued.

"Six: Isshin-san goes missing in action. The mission was related to the hollowfication." A pause. " Also, three months before the ryoka invasion and Kuchiki's execution, Gin starts acting even more strange. There is the more frequent foxlike smirk of his, the shifting of his reiatsu around specific people to make them afraid of him, hmm... also he it was about that time that he kept a longer distance between himself and Matsumoto." He folded the thumb of the right hand.

"Seven: The hug...". Enough said. His thoughts on that matter where too jumbled anyways, he needed to focus. Closing the forefinger, he muttered further into the dead night. "Eight: Kuchiki's execution and Ichigo's barging in." He gave a small chuckle. The teen _did_ poke a hole into the oh so unbreakable barrier that encircled Seireitei. The middle finger went down.

"Nine: Gin did everything to seem suspicious to anyone. Maybe a bit _too_ suspicious. Then again, no one really likes him. I'm probably the only one who noticed it was a bit too real." Rig finger went down.

"Ten:...If i were to assume all of this is a double act, it would mean that Gin did all this to get close to Aizen and strike from the inside. He probably knows much more about the cursed zanpakuto of his then any of us. But if it's not..." His voice trailed away. He knew deep down that he hoped the double act was the truth. He didn't want the man to be a real traitor. Gin was just too smart for his own good. He _wasn't_ that much of an idiot to fall for that monster's words. Double act was the only explanation.

Was this his logic talking or his heart?

"Ugh!" He buried his hands in his snowy hair once more, curling into a ball against the cold stone. The throbbing of his wound had intensified during his little thinking time. The bandages were nearly soaked whole in his blood, which was slowly dripping on the floor.

Refusing the healing had been a very bad idea.  
Was it childish? Gin would probably say that.

Sighing audibly, he unclasped his hands from his halo of hair and started clumsily unwrapping himself. Maybe re-bandaging a bit more accurately would help. He was a child genius, true, but bandaging, along with other skills, like cooking for example, was beyond him.

He was halfway to fully exposing the wound to the air when his ears perked up. He stood up slowly, ignoring the stabbing pain and looked ahead. The alley was empty and a soft wind was blowing from that direction, gently playing with his hair. It was a nice feeling, peaceful.

Toshiro slowly closed his kimono right over the half bandaged gash and held tightly, trying to calm his breathing. His teal eyes were fixated on one spot straight ahead.

Seconds passed. The boy held his breath. He nearly choked on very air when a figure suddenly appeared, dressed in all white, a light teal sash being the only color standing out tied loosely around his hips, hanging low.

The usual grin that everyone, even Toshiro associated with the man was gone. He couldn't read him, at all.

As pale teal eyes revealed themselves, Hitsugaya Toshiro gasped.

So I didn't imagine it after all…The night Aizen cut me, it was not my imagination.

Not that the little revelation helped him in any way.

Ichimaru Gin was here. As an enemy. Toshiro was wounded, in a dark alley far away from any other shinigami that came with him.

 _Keep your cool..._

Adjusting his haori with both hands in a nonchalant manner, as if there was no deep bloody slash that nearly ripped his upper half in two, he fixed the man with a cold stare. Maybe it was finally time to get some answers. Or…the man had come to finish him off.

"Ichimaru Gin." His voice didn't waver or crack. Good. There was no need to show weakness. "What are you doing here?"

The man didn't grin.

His eyes were boring right into his very soul. They were livid. Unable to hold his gaze, the boy looked down.

Then he noticed the small pool of blood he had gathered right under his feet.

"Oh crap..."

* * *

It was a bit too long so I decided to make Day 2 a two chapter thing. Hope whoever reads this, enjoys.

If there are typos (I do reread what i write, but one can miss a few things, right?) tell me please? o.o I really want to have clean stories.


	3. Day 2

**Day 2**

Toshiro decided that fate or whoever it was up there, maybe even the Soul King himself, hated him. He _couldn't_ have such bad luck, it was absurd! Almost like Kurosaki Ichigo luck and that was saying something. Stuck bleeding in a dark corner of a human town AND cornered by none other than Ichimaru Gin wasn't what one called good luck.  
The blood on the concrete floor was glistering so _innocently_ under the moonlight, perfectly visible from Gin's angle. He felt his eye twitch. Just another hindrance. If Gin was here, he wanted to talk to him, finally understand! And a bit of blood was not going to stop him!

This was why he ultimately ignored his pain and the _drip-drip_ of his own blood and raised his head back up to look at the man straight on. He gasped in surprise when he realized Gin was much closer than before, he was, in fact right in front of him, hands going for his tightly wrapped up haori.  
"What are you doing!" Out of pure combat instinct, Toshiro kicked the approaching hand away and backed up against the wall, defensive. "I am not in a mood for your games, Ichimaru! Why are you here? What do you want? Did you come with another group of arrancar or are you here to finish the job yourself?" Questions poured out of his mouth before he could even think them properly through. He didn't want to know the answers to those, he needed answers to others. Why was he being so prissy all of a sudden?

Bony hands gripped his own tightly and wrenched them apart. The white cloth fell open, revealing the torn black shihakusho and the deep gash that was oozing blood and pus by now. The little captain struggled to free himself but he had no strength left. All that was left of it was taking care of the 'not fainting' part now.

"Answer me!" he demanded. The effect was lost due to the weakness of his voice.

Gin looked directly at him and opened one teal eye.

"I needed to check on a few things, none of yar concern, no and no." The silky voice betrayed no emotion whatsoever.

Toshiro blinked a few times, trying to discern the answers.

"What are you doing..", he complained as defiantly as he could in his current state when he realized Gin wasn't wasting time and was already taking off his bloody upper clothing.

"Stopping ya from being a selfish brat, that's what!" Gin barked and threw the items on the ground nearby. The chilly air on his bare skin made the little boy gasp. The resd slash right across his torso was probably a sickening sight.

"I am not ac-.." The icy glare from that one eye was enough for him to swallow the rest of his words. Toshiro gulped as he watched the man fumble with his own clothing, reach the white underkimono of his right sleeve and expertly tear it into long strands.

 _Is he going to choke me with them,_ he thought, blinking a bit faster than usual. His chest was burning from the pain already; maybe it would be an easy death then? Would Ichimaru grant him that?

"Stop thinking whatever it is ya're thinking there," came a calm drawl as the silver haired man ripped the other sleeve as well. When apparently finishing the assessment of the amount of material needed for whatever reason he wanted, Gin moved closer him. What he wanted to do, Toshiro had no idea, because the inner child of his that conveniently forgot about being a captain for that moment panicked. Eyes wide, his body jerked back from the suspected touch and he hit the back of his head hard on the wall. With little dragons flashing in front him in a weird dance, he promptly crumbled to the ground, hissing in pain.

 _What a day._

He would have ended up cracking his head open on the concrete floor had Gin not been fast enough. The man caught him in time and lowered him in a sitting position right in front of his nose.  
Toshiro blinked hard, trying to get rid of the swimming surroundings. When he finally focused, he realized a few things.

One, he had two new additional pains to deal with. His head hurt where he hit it and his ankle was throbbing. It was probably twisted. Ugh.  
Two, the pain on his chest had dulled and was comforting.  
Three, the latter was because Gin was using a healing kido on him at the very moment.

Well, at least he knew now Gin wasn't trying to finish him off. That was what he had made up himself, he _knew_ the man wouldn't hurt him. Well, intentionally, that is. Whatever the reason was, Toshiro couldn't complain. Gin would overpower him if he ran and with this foot, this wound and his overall sorry state it wouldn't take even two steps before he crumbled like a corpse. Besides, the man was healing him. Gran didn't teach him to be a brat in a situation where someone was offering help he knew he desperately needed. Least he could do was sit this out. Maybe he could really get answers after that? Determined to pull them out of the silver fox if needed, Toshiro waited patiently. They spent quite some time like that, sitting on the ground in the middle of nowhere. By the time Gin took up the ripped white pseudo bandages, the gash was only just a pink scratch, a bit deep but no longer bleeding at least. The internal organs that were damaged, along with his cracked rib were all healed up and working perfectly once more. The boy was getting giddy. The time for answers finally was coming.

Come on, faster…

Gin was taking his sweet time bandaging him!

When he was tying the knot on his stomach, Toshiro's patience promptly abandoned him.

"W-.. ouch!" Gin secured the knot a bit tighter then the boy expected.

"Ya know this little scratch here could have very well earned you a long term relationship with one of Unohana Taicho's infirmary beds." Gin looked at him, both eyes open now. Toshiro caught the gaze, gulped and looked away, feeling small, his enquiries forgotten. Gin's bony hand gripped his chin and forced him to look back up. "Kiddo, I know that ya care about others and all, I know that ya feel they are more important then ya, but that's selfish of you. Ran cares about ya more then for herself! That Kurosaki brat cares for ya too. They all care for yar well-being! Ya need to think of ya'self as well! If ya don't like that reason, how about his one! Ran's gona cry if something, anything happens to ya. Hinamori is gona cry, Kurosaki's gona go wild in rage!

His hand had long left his chin, but Toshiro didn't look away. He couldn't. This was so much like when Gran scolded him that one and only time when he was younger, only much more intense. Gin was right. About everything. Just like last time.

"I toldya once, ya _think_ ya're an adult, ya better at least start acting like one. And even for a child, which you still are, ya're being too selfish, what would your Gran say if she knew?!"

Tears pooled around the corners of his eyes. Toshiro looked down, unable to hold it any longer.

Gin was _right._

But he didn't need to see Hitsugaya Toshiro crumble to pieces and cry. He wouldn't.

"I want ya to promise me to never ever neglect yar own health. Even if ya have others get healing first, don't you dare ignore yar own thinking it'll pass. I forbid it!"

His white head snapped right back up, glaring at the man with an intensity and rage he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since Aizen's betrayal and Momo's near death experience by his hand.

"Why the hell do you even care what I do? I have always been alone, always did things on my own! Wait, you _don't_ care! And what right do you have to forbid me anything! You're not my father or my captain! Why would-..."

In his icy rage, Toshiro missed the very evident flinch at the word 'father'.

"Ya're right. It's cos R-.."

"Don't you DARE make Matsumoto an excuse again! Just like last time, a freaking EXCUSE for whatever the HELL is going on!"

Gin pulled his cheek rather painfully. "Stop cursing. Kids like ya shouldn't know such words."

Toshiro pushed him away with two hands. "Well, you seem to forget that I'm a captain of a division that has a lot of grown men who like drinking." He shrugged. "It's not MY fault those idiots blab stuff. Plus Matsumoto says those too!"

"That's cos Ran-chan has no idea. If she remembered, she would never ever use such vile language in front of ... never mind."

 _Huh? What the hell? Matsumoto forgot something? In front of who? I'm her captain. So what if I'm still ..growing!_

"What did she forget?"Toshiro asked, head tilting to the side _._ Gin smiled at him, eyes closed and hummed. "Never ya mind, Chibi Taicho." When Toshiro huffed in annoyance, the man fixed him with a frown. "I never got yar answer tho. I need ya to promise me and do it fast I didn't come here for a nighttime leisure stroll ya know."

"If..if i promise, will you answer a few of my questions?" The downright evil glare he got was enough to make him reconsider his own words.

"This is not a negotiation, Shiro-chan. I need you to keep your word on it, like a man".

Hitsugaya closed his eyes and breathed, gingerly rubbing the bandages.

"I know you are right, in everything. And well, I just wanted some answers, thought maybe I'd try...never mind. I promise never to be such a fool again. Like you said, I don't want Matsumoto to cry because of something that happened to me. No..scratch that, I don't want her to cry, ever." Gin was regarding him curiously, eyes half open with a strange glint sparkling in them. It was almost a wistful glance.

"You really aren't going to tell me anything, are you?" He was going to try at least once more, before Gin left. The man gave a full smirk, head titled to the side. "Depends on what ya ask."

Toshiro's skin tingled with excitement. He stifled it down though. It was evident that Gin would choose to answer or not, so he needed to think about what he wanted to ask. And his time was definitely limited, so he needed to think fast.

"Aizen doesn't know you are here right?", he tried first. Gin hummed and nodded. "So, you don't have much time.." The statement made him frown. He didn't want Gin to go. Maybe Gin could come back to their side, admit his wrongs or something. Or, Toshiro could hide him in the living world. Urahara would definitely help.

"Chibi..stop it."

The utter dejection in that one sentence made the boy stiffen. He started shaking, hands clasped in his lap. Everything suddenly came back at him, everything that happened, that one fateful night when Gin came to give him a hug, his strange behavior, everything else that happened afterwards, that _Gin did_ afterwards, Toshiro's own thoughts and theories. The bottle had finally reached the limit where he could no longer contain it. He blew up.

"Why! I just don't get it! You and your acts! You think I didn't notice? You made Aizen seem innocent back then and yourself as a villain, you didn't everything to make people hate you, so that you were suspected for anything weird that were to happen? And that day when you came to the 10th, you.. you! Why did you join him! What did Aizen offer you? Aren't you a genius? I KNOW you're smarter than him, smarter than to fall for whatever that little - gasp - traitor had said! And you aren't like Kaname, him and his stupid vengeance for his friend! I know your double act Gin! At least, i think it is. I just..." He put his hand to his face, voice cracking as tears freely pooled form his eyes. "I just want to understand. Are you doing this for someone? My guess would be Matsumoto.."  
Gin grabbed his small arm and gently pulled his hand away, revealing a tear stricken face of a child. Child who was burdened by far more than his small shoulders could carry. A child who, besides all that worried and wanted to carry someone else's burden as well.

Realizing he had just ranted out on Ichimaru Gin, Toshiro went red in embarrassment. This was all very unusual for him and he didn't like it. He quickly cleared away the wetness on his face with the back of his hand, looking anywhere but at Gin.

"Why do ya think its Matsumoto, Shiro-chan?"

Toshiro, surprised, snapped his head back up to look at the man. He definitely did not expect an answer. Gin was looking at him with a frown, both eyes open, sad.

Why was he sad?

"Um ,well, because you were classmates? You ..care for her, I see it every time you interact with her."

"Toshiro," he started carefully, as if picking the words to say next. "Ran and I were never classmates. We joined the academy in the same year, yes, but I joined earlier then her _and_ I graduated in one year, ya know that. Besides.." A pause and a sigh." Me and Ran knew each other before the academy. We lived together in Rukongai."

The white haired boy felt his eyes widen. His mind was already analyzing the new piece of information. This connection Gin just mentioned is deep. No wonder he always looked at her that strange way, and Rangiku too. He had never ever seen her cry like that day after Gin's betrayal! It was different than the tears she drowned others in when a shop got closed or something. Gin just told him in plain words that he was very close to his fukutaicho. Not like he and Momo are. Gin definitely did _not_ see Matsumoto Rangiku as a little sister. Did he love her?  
 _  
Why do ya think its Matsumoto, Shiro-chan?_

And didn't that one question directly mean that there really is someone who is involved in all the Gin following Aizen thing?

Wait..

"Gin.." Toshiro's mood darkened and the wind got a bit too chilly to be normal. "Did...did something happen to Matsumoto? Did..did _Aizen_ do something to her?", he asked in a whisper.

Ichimaru went silent, pokerface back up. Toshiro watched him carefully, a part of him afraid to hear the answer.

Finally, as though coming to a conclusion, Gin nodded.

The boy went nearly limp. So it was true, Gin was doing this for Rangiku. That bastard Aizen was going to pay, for everything he did.

"He was experimenting with the Hogyoku", Gin explained, his eyes shadowed. "He took almost all of her reiastu, along with.. well, doesn't matter. She nearly died back then because of it. Ya know, Toshiro, when the Hogyoku is around beings, it sucks the spiritual energy they have. If ya're weak, ya simply disintegrate. Back Aizen had powered it up by sucking out the reiatsu from a lot of people." He paused and clenched his fists. "It was not enough for him, he wanted more. So he experimented on the first person who happened to be spiritually aware. Ran had no idea what hit her. She lost almost 70% of her reiatsu. All of it went to the cursed Hogyoku and the worst of it was that she never recovered it. She could have easily gotten her Bankai and her Shikai wouldn't be so sloppy had that never happened...When I got there, it was already too late."

They sat in silence, each in their own thoughts, Toshiro studying the man intently. His gaze must have triggered something in Gin, because he hurriedly said, "Don't look at me like that, Toshiro. I have done many bad things, and I will have to do them still-.."

"I don't care," grumbled the boy and awkwardly, a bit unsure of himself and what he was doing, crawled closer to the man and wrapped his arms around his middle, forehead coming to rest against his chest.  
Gin froze but recovered quickly enough to wrap his arms around the boy and rest his chin atop the snowy spiky head.

The sheer feeling of comfort overwhelmed Toshiro. Once again, he felt invincible; nothing could happen to him with Gin there. Nobody could hurt him. He wanted to give this feeling to Gin too. He was out there, all alone, with Aizen and the arrancars, trying to do what seems so farfetched, something one would consider impossible.

The sudden realization made Toshiro freeze and tighten his arms around the man.

If Aizen discovered.. Gin..Gin could die.

"Will everything be alright?", he choked out. When Gin didn't answer, Toshiro looked up at him, feeling every bit of his young age. "Will it?!"

Gin looked up at the few stars that adored the sky. They looked so lonely up there. "I really don't know."

Toshiro furred his brow and scowled, really not liking that answer. Gin planted his thumb right between his eyebrows. "Stop doing that, ya'll get ya'self wrinkles, like an old man. Girls will call ya a baldie."

Toshiro snorted. "Hn."

"Well, come on then, it's pretty late. I've kept you from yar beauty sleep a bit too long now." Ichimaru stood up, easily picking the boy in his arms and crinkled a smile.

"I'm not a little kid! I don't need to be carried, especially like this!" Toshiro raged, squirming.

"I wouldn't do that if I were ya."

True enough, after a little wriggling around white hot pain shot from his toe up to his torso and he nearly yelped. He had totally forgotten about the stupid twisted ankle. At the same time, his chest started aching a bit.

"Don't complain, ya brought this on ya'self." said Gin rather cheerfully and hoisted the boy up in a more comfortable position, nestling him on his hip like a little toddler and picked up the bloody garments from the ground. Toshiro went beet red. He was a bit old to be carried like that!

"Na ya're not. Plus ya're small for yar age anyways."

Could he read minds?

"No, I can't. Ya're just an open book now, Chibi-Taicho."

Defeated, Toshiro rested his head on his shoulder. "It's Hitsugaya Taicho..."

"Hai hai...Shiro-chan."

They disappeared from the alley in a quick shunpo.

* * *

My chapters keep getting longer. This is baaaad :D

Okey, so one day left. I might just split it into 2 chaps just like this one. Not sure yet.

Cherrio.


	4. Day 2 Epilogue

**Day 2: Epilogue, Gin Interlude.**

Ichimaru Gin frowned slightly from his position on the rooftop, observing the situation with eyes half open.

Rangiku was there, perched frozen by the door frame, hands crossed under her chest, waiting...waiting.

"Of course ya would, right Ran-chan,", he muttered under his breath, hands clasping his precious burden tighter. "Ya have no idea, and ya still care for him like for yar own. Mother cat indeed."  
Toshiro had fallen asleep in his arms. He protested at first, of course, but he needed his sleep and Gin would be damned if his child didn't get it. It was the least he could do for him. He was a failure of a parent anyways. It had been a very long day and Shiro-chan was tired, his body rebelling against him, already limp in his arms. Still, he didn't stop mumbling things, determined to stay awake as long as he could.

 _Stubborn child, s_ _o much like myself._

That was not a comforting thought. At all.

When the boy still continued to protest, rather weakly he might add, Gin had smirked and pressed his forehead to the little ones, instantly shutting him up. The wide teal eyes, still so innocent despite everything that happened were utterly confused. That confusion morphed to disbelief when he started to hum a soft tune. Not even five seconds later Toshiro was already asleep, tucked into the safety of Gin's arms.

Well, no wonder. He always calmed down after Gin sang to him that particular song. Some things never change.

An impatient huff snapped him back to reality. Ran was very annoyed. He quirked one silver eyebrow.

"Ya'll be getting a piece of that when ya wake up, Chibi-taicho. Gotta say, I don't really envy ya. She can be devil's own hellcat when she's angry."

Even breathing answered him. He smiled and jumped silently to the back of the house, away from Rangiku. Quickly spying a window, he stealthily opened it with one hand and crept in, Toshiro safely tucked in his left arm. He was a bit too small, too scrawny, too bony... Just like him at that age.

Letting out an audible sigh, Gin repositioned the boy and carried him to one of the futons on the floor. He needed to hurry, else Aizen would know something was up. He was still going to get for disappearing like that. The 'mission' alibi he prepared would definitely work, but that didn't mean he was getting off unpunished. Shaking his head, he willed those thoughts away.

Ran was still out there, waiting for her captain. Maybe he should..?

No. She couldn't see him.

Inhaling deeply, he tore his gaze away from the door and started to unwrap the tightly clasped little sandals. The tabi socks came off next. Gin discarded them on the side and covered the boy with a blanket. Knowing he only had a few more minutes to stay and a punishment for disobedience waiting sweetly for him, he still lingered, hand over the child's heart. When he moved away, Toshiro's brow furred and he gave a little grunt in his sleep. Gin pressed a finger to his forehead, smoothing out the wrinkles.

"Shh, Chibi-Taicho." He ran a hand through the snowy hair as Toshiro relaxed. "Yar hair is whiter than mine... Makes me wonder if it's cos of yar Hyourinmaru." The boy shifted around, subconsciously facing him, a small hand clasped into the folds of Gin's white robe. The smile dropped into a sad frown.  
How he wished things were different. If Aizen didn't exist they would be a proper family. Toshiro would know his own parents, would never grow up so alone…Would probably even have siblings. They would all sleep in one room, him, Ran and their precious white bundle of joy. The absence of a third futon and the sheer emptiness of the second clawed at his heart. Unhooking the fingers that grasped his clothing as if their life depended on it, he stood up and bolted from the room without even a second glance at the sleeping figure.

He never saw Matsumoto Rangiku entering the room mere seconds after he disappeared, surprise plastered on her face as she observed her captain, sound asleep in his futon. He was already on his way back to Las Noches, formulating his alibi to a believable story when Toshiro violently shot up awake, eyes wide and searching.

"Taicho.."

The boy looked to his right sharply, nearly cracking his neck. Rangiku was there, lying in her own futon wide awake, facing him.

"Ma..Matsumoto", he croaked back, eyes still wide, heartbeat going faster then was considered normal.

"I am not going to ask where you went or when you came back. I'm not even going to ask about the wound." She closed her eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath. "Just, tell me please.. are you all right?"

A choking silence stood between them.

"Yes", he finally breathed, curling into the fatal position. "Na, Rangiku…"

She waited for him to collect his thoughts.

"I wish I could order you to go back to Soul Society, or even better, go to my Gran's and stay there, along with Momo until the war is over.."

"You know as well as I do that a vice captain's place is beside the captain. I am not going to leave you alone to face off the arrancar and Aizen!" she huffed. "And you should give more credit to Momo, that girl is strong. She needs to fight. She needs to understand!"

He gulped and balled his fists under the blanket.

"A..ah."

Rangiku's eyes softened. She could tell that the conversation was over. Whatever Toshiro had on his mind, he would either tell her tomorrow, or never. He had already decided.

This meant it was time to finally call it a night and get some much needed sleep. Question time was over anyways.

Toshiro watched her as she relaxed and drifted off to the world of dreams. He hoped she saw some good ones at least, unlike himself. He hugged himself, curling into a tiny ball and screwed his eyes shut, willing this weakness to disappear, this.. stupid, stupid fear.

"Rangiku, Gin, I'm scared…", he whispered into his own arms, voice coming out a harsh muffled whisper.

 _It's war, I'm scared! I'm scared that Momo will die, I'm scared that Rangiku will die…I'm scared that Gin will die…_

 _Don't die, please!_

* * *

A/N. I was thinking the other day that this fic might be a bit too cheesy :D oh welp.

An I honestly, really did prop open a document, fully prepared to write day 3, but then... ugh, I needed more Gin action! Plus it wasn't exactly explained how they got back, so, here's a little chappie chap.

Same request as always, please tell me about typos!

Thank you for reading :) I appreciate it a lot.


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